"I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my _____." Erykah Badu says right before debuting her song "Tyrone" for a live audience. That is ever so true. I used to be sensitive about my work at my 9 to 5 Corporate Job. I used to take it to heart if I got disciplined or if my work wasn't regarded as perfect and above expectation. It made me a perfectionist and unable to just let some things fly. Spreadsheet columns had to be perfect, color coded cells, document margins perfect, addendums and notes pages immaculate. Then, one day, I realized how unimportant all of that was to me. Singing, dancing, performing on stage was the place I needed to be perfect. I needed to be able to leave the stage satisfied - as if just finishing my favorite ice cream, Cookies and Cream (mmm, yummy).
"How do I do this?" is the question I ask everyday. No lie, everyday. Everyday, I send out tweets, facebook posts, past the link to my ReverbNation page, look for artists to collaborate with, view this hits on my YouTube Page and pray I'm not making a mistake. Then I wonder, should I just quit my job and go full force? It would be easier to go on auditions for plays and voice overs, finish writing songs and book studio time but you already know, my pockets wouldn't like that very much. Really, this is just like deciding whether to start your own business or not. Artists are now business owners, especially independent artists like me and my friends of The Collective (be sure to watch the reality show). Unless you go on American Idol or The Voice, getting "discovered" is not what it used to be and everyone is afraid of getting those dreaded deals that leave you broke anyway. But I want out of this rat race (Thanks Robert Kiyosaki).
My manager and team lead and really, all of my co-workers are excited for me and the things I do to further my career in entertainment but I'm not completely sure they all understand that any day now, I want to be done. I don't think they all believe still in dreams. I've reached that point where I can't do anything but believe that it will happen; I will release project after project, they will all be good, I will tour the world and I will be able to tell my children that I did it and enjoyed it. The rehearsals, photo shoots, recording sessions, writing sessions, lack of sleep, exercise programs, musician auditions, let downs, shady gigs, all of it . . . I want it. You might be thinking, "What happens if you don't get it?" Not an option. I'm not interested in being rich, but rather want to live off my passion and talent. How many people can say they felt appreciated and fully compensated for their work? Not many. Most of us will quickly complain about being underpaid, overlooked and over qualified for the positions we have in the Corporate World. I guess that does make me an entrepreneur at heart; the desire to create something out of nothing and receive adequate compensation for it based on the work, time and energy I put in to it. This isn't an easy thing to do when we've been conditioned to think you must go to school, get good grades, get a good job, work hard for recognition and a 3% living wage increase and pray you have enough money to retire on. Pause (place your curse words here). Nah, I ain't going down like that. I am proud of my degrees from the University of Richmond and Trinity University (DC) but I now understand what I am supposed to use them for . . . to Manage the Brand that is Keyona Ham.
I hope that you will follow me on this roller coaster and pass on my ranting to people who love a good success story, because that’s where I’m going and know that every morning, I pray to God and say, “As soon as you want me to start counting down, I will.”
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