All gigs aren’t good gigs.
I love singing at weddings. I especially love it when the groom is involved in choosing the songs, the themes and seems to be enjoying the experience. I’ve been lucky enough to sing at weddings where the bride and groom agree on the songs, colors, and what they chose had meaning to their relationship and journey. I recently did something to a bride that I would never want to happen to anyone. I didn’t show up to sing. BEFORE you yell at me, let me tell you what happened. Originally, the bride wanted me to sing two songs, “Love” by Musiq SoulChild and “So Amazing” by Luther Vandross. I was immediately apprehensive because 1, she didn’t have a musician playing at her wedding so it would all be to a track and 2, “Love” starts quite low in my range and without a HOT mic, no one would hear anything I said until I got to the chorus. I urged her, a month before her wedding to get a musician to do filler music and play the two songs. Two weeks before her wedding, she calls to say that her Pastor has approved the two songs and no, she would not be using a musician for any part of the wedding. Now, I believe in keeping your costs low if you cannot afford a grandiose wedding, but some things, you should NOT skimp on especially if you want a professional to sing at your wedding. HELLO!!! PROFESSIONAL here; this means I don’t want to look like a fool singing at your wedding.
I show up to the wedding rehearsal (you know it was a Friday night and I wanted to go out and play). The bridal party finally shows up and they get started on rehearsing. Now, for the life of me, I still can’t figure out why we need to rehearse walking down the aisle - as many weddings as I’ve been in, I seem to do the same thing every time but okay, I’ll go with the bit. Once I sat down and took a look at the sanctuary, I realized that I would not have enough time to sing either of the songs. The aisle was short and the bridal party was not big enough to take up the time for the songs. Also, the person who would be doing the sound was not at the rehearsal. This is a problem. So, whatever we decided that night would not be confirmed until we got to the wedding the next day. O_o <- - - - - yes, this was my face. The bride agreed that “Love” was too long and she would use the instrumental and have the sound person just fade it out – again, not there to rehearse it, not sure if they would even know what to do. I suggested to her that she do the same thing with “So Amazing” because as she walks down the aisle and gets to the end, I would still have a substantial amount of song left to sing before even getting to the vamp. AND, since I would be singing it to the track, it would be quite obvious that this song is either too long or we cut it short. THIS is why I urge all brides to get a musician at your wedding; that is NOT a cost you should cut. A musician can change the key, shorten or rearrange the song to fit your needs. I can’t do that at the ninth hour with an instrumental track. Wait, you realize there is no sound person here so there is no microphone for me to sing into to check the volume against the track right? This is a catastrophe waiting to happen; I’ve seen it happen a million times, even to me.
I’m sitting with the bride going over other things in her wedding that have not been solidified; I’m feeling like a last minute hired coordinator here. She then turns to me and asks, “You’ve done a lot of weddings?”
“Yes” in my, “I could help this go better for you” tone but I decide to pull back and see if she’ll make a decision. Oh, what decision you ask? If she really wants me to sing and what she wants me to do if I’m still singing when she gets to the altar. She never answers. Before I leave, I tell her to call me and let me know what she decides. Now, I know, there are so many things going through the mind of a bride but please, assign these things to someone if you can’t make up your mind. Time ticks . . . 9pm, 10pm, 11pm, and midnight. I’m going to bed; she hasn’t called and I gave her my recommendation to use the instrumental tracks instead of a live vocalist. I know, y’all may think it to be cruel, but I’ve already given her the discount price and now we’re down to one song that I may not even get through. Let me save her the rest of her money and not be there is what I’m thinking. The wedding starts at 11:00 am on Saturday morning. At 8:30 am, I get a call from an irate bridesmaid, “[The bride] wants to know if you’re singing or not.” TIME OUT!! If that’s a question you have to ask . . . you already know the answer. I gave the bride instructions to let me know what she decided, that did not mean call me the morning of your wedding but let me know before the day arrives. I gently reply, “No, I won’t be singing.” You know what happened next . . . she went all the way irate on me. “What, so you’re saying the morning of her wedding, you decide you’re not coming?”
“Wait. The bride and I talked last night and I gave her my recommendation and instructions to call me and let me know her decision. You’re asking this morning is not . . .”
(She cuts me off) “I can’t believe this . . .”
At this point, I don’t know what she’s saying because now she’s mad but I’m thinking, does it not seem odd to you that you’re calling me at this hour to find this out? Don’t you remember seeing me last night at the wedding rehearsal? You must know that if you were told to call me, there is something going on. How about you advise your bride that it’s very late to be getting that detail straight? I have NEVER not shown up for a wedding. I know that it is a very important day but I could not in my right mind waste her money or embarrass myself. And when I asked the significance of the songs, let’s just say, I wasn’t moved. There was only one other wedding I didn’t do because the song was a duet; we couldn’t find a guy to sing and rearranging it would have taken away from the song; it was way too popular to do that.
I don’t usually think of singing at weddings as an opportunity to make money. It is supposed to be a beautiful day where God gets the glory for bringing two people together; a day where two (or three) families get together to agree on a union and sometimes, make peace. Singing at weddings is usually a pleasure for me whether it’s for fee or free but this just didn’t seem right. So, I have decided that I’m not just taking every gig that comes and it will never be based on how much I’ll make but how it feels in my gut, my soul, what my intuition says. I wish I could tell you that I felt bad about showing up, but I don’t. I hope that she had a beautiful ceremony and has wonderful marriage. Maybe, just maybe, my attitude and feelings about her decision is why I didn’t need to be there. Maybe God decided my presence didn’t need to be in the mix. I’m okay with that. It gave me a chance to get much needed rest.
All gigs aren’t good gigs.
